Dearest readers,

Our office is under siege.   A great blast this afternoon nearly knocked the front door from its hinges.  Phone lines have been disconnected, cell phones are jammed,  and we suspect our wireless connection — which we have been using illegally — will soon be disabled, too.

As we prepare for the imminent breach of our offices, shredding documents and stomping external hard drives, one thing does remain constant: our resolve to fight this war to the very bitter end!  Indeed, we will deactivate this website before we let it fall into the hands of the enemy!

The LU Report fired back today.  Good stuff, especially if your definition of good stuff is craven lies and somber elitism!

Let us not forget the words of Plato:  “Only the dead have seen the end of blog wars.”

Yesterday, we discussed something that made us glad – The General getting the nod.  Today, we’re going to discuss something that makes us both sad — and, also, very, very mad.  We’re talking, of course, about The LU Report.

First of all, we’re entirely supportive of competition in the realm of Student-Run Blogs about Longwood.  Except we’re not at all supportive.  At all.  The LU Report is stepping on our turf, and we are hereby publicly declaring a blog war against it.

Q: What about The Longwood Look?  Does that not fall in the realm of Student-Run Longwood Blogs?

A: Yes, and we would certainly rumble with the ladies at the Look, were it not for the friendly ties maintained between their writers and our writers.  Collectively, we all share a passion for writing and fashion.  We are the best of friends.  One of our interns will have an essay published on their blog.

Q:  Is it possible to find a similar peace with the LU Report?

A: No.

Q:  If you could ask three questions to the creator of the LU Report, what would they be?

A:  “HOW DARE YOU?  HOW DAAAAAAAAARE YOU?  HOW — DARE — YOU?”

Q:  What irks you so much about the LU Report?

A: In relation to our blog, it is a kissing cousin.  An illegitimate, unclean, reputation-ruining kissing cousin.

Q:  How do you mean?

A:  To put in terms of Animal Farm, our blog is the pig Napoleon, stout and brave, where the LU Report is Moses, the evil raven spreading lies to the gullible animals about Sugarcandy Mountain.

Q:  What are there big differences between these two blogs?

A: The Report uses Blogger, where we use WordPress.  The Report’s content is strictly news and features, where our content is not.

Q:  What are the similarities?

A: Mostly the format…

And maybe the email address: thelureport@gmail.com vs longwoodhole@gmail.com.  But who can blame them for using Gmail?  Let’s move on — we are starting to lose our anger.

Q:  What is your first course of action?

A: A vigorous assault of pouting.  We will be emailing The LU Report, demand that it be taken offline immediately.  If they do not comply with our demands, we will increase pouting four-fold.

Q:  How can I help in the war effort?

A: Become a contributor to the Longwood Hole.  You ida wit’ us, or again’ us.