Remember when Barnes and Noble sold the Longwood Lancer Chocolate Bar?

Now that, according to the folks at EARN!, was a good idea.

Because, let’s face it — there are a lot of potential students who will not be won over by DI athletics.  Unfortunately, some students do not spend their final years of high school watching the ESPN bottom line for obscure southern universities to potentially attend.

For them, we must devise new ways to get their attention about Longwood, to whisper our brand’s sweet, sweet promise in their ear.

Here’s the perfect venue:

Nerdy kids are always wheezing their nasally mantra about how breakfast is the most important meal of the day.

The people at EARN! agree.  They believe that the best way for our school to both advertise it’s brand and earn cash is to sell a Longwood University Breakfast Cereal.

Potential Revenue:  $18.5 million, per fiscal quarter.

Why?:  Imagine you’re a fifth grader dashing down the grocery aisle.  Anxious.  Impressionable.  As you search for the Cinnamon Toast Crunch, your best friend, your favorite cereal, you notice another box:

You read the box.  “Lancer Food has so much protein, brown sugar, whole wheat, and blue-and-white-spirit that it should probably come with a warning label by the FDA.”

You turn over the box and find that, in fact, it does come with a warning:

CAUTION:  Studies have found that eating Lancer Food every day may cause prodigious intelligence, in addition to exceptional muscle growth, popularity, and shiny hair.  Consume at your own risk.

You spit on the Cinnamon Toast Crunch, that no-talent hack of a cereal, and, for the rest of your formative years, eat nothing but delicious Lancer Food for breakfast.

And for lunch and for lunch?  You guessed it — Lancer Chocolate Bars!