(photo credit: youniversitytv.com)

That right there is Dan, the Longwood Man.  Remember him from the campus home page?   We do.  It was a swell photo; they should put it back up.  One afternoon, we found ourselves walking next to Dan on Brock Commons.  ”Longwood Man!” we shrieked.  Dan — a classy celebrity — was neither annoyed or frightened.

He graduated this past May, and was kind enough to answer some questions from The Longwood Hole about how fame changed his life and how he ended up at a school in Central VA.

The Longwood Hole:  It’s sort of random and somehow fitting you became Longwood Man. How the hell did you end up in Farmville, anyway? Aren’t you from CT?

Dan: Yeah, I’m from a small town in CT, sorta like Farmville, in that it has nothing, but, it’s a New Yorker weekend town — so it’s much fancier.  How I ended up in Farmville and at Longwood:  I wanted to go to a small school in VA that had anthropology.  I also looked at others bigger schools as well but I enjoyed the campus; it was prettier than most. But the one thing besides everyone talking about how Dr. Jordan was the man was that it had odds of about 3 girls to every guy. FUCK YEAH every guy’s dream.  It really is like those college movies.. too bad it was shattered a bit when I found out that the damn Hampden-Sydney douches take them, with their lame-ass popped collars. But it’s all good — I still managed.

TLH: What’s it like living on the other side of the country, away from Farmville? Do you miss being Longwood Man?

Dan: Living on the other side is wonderful. A buffet of food selections in a two block radius. I live in one of the best neighborhoods, nice night life, and I’m only a fifteen minute walk from my main workplace. The weather is nice and sunny for the most part, kinda cool in the morning, gets nice and warm in the afternoon and by night when the fog rolls in gets a bit chilly but nothing compared to VA or CT chilliness. But I do have to say I miss being in Farmville, and being Longwood Man. Having people come up to me and saying “HEY! You’re on the homepage”. I recently came back to the area and walked on campus.  I do miss walking on Brock Commons.

TLH:  Could you describe your current job?

Dan: My job….. well I’m the manager of two restaurants that sell Belgian fries with over twenty dips to choose from, crepes both sweet and savory.  We have a wide selection of Belgian beers on tap. I order all the food and beer, make sure things run smoothly. Meet with foods reps, beer reps, and wine tasting, a bunch. Like any job, I hate it sometimes cause I work all day, six days a week, even though we are open seven days. But I love it; it’s one of those chances that don’t come up that often and are life changing. I find it funny sometimes when I meet with people for benefits and fundraising dinners — they think I’ll be much older but no its just me this twenty-two-year-old helping run the show. It kicks ass.

TLH:  In retrospect, is there anything you would have done differently at college?

Dan: Not really — maybe studied a bit more. But other than that I had a great college experience at Longwood. If I had done things differently, I might not have been Longwood Man, and I might not be where I am now. You can’t do anything to change the past, and the future won’t come as you expect it.

TLH:  What’s the attraction to San Fransico? Socializing? I remember you once described partying there and waking up next to some old chick you didn’t know…?

Dan: I’ve always loved San Francsico.  I’ve visited a bunch for vacations, gone for conferences. But the food is amazing; they got great food, not the shit we have in Farmville. Also the night life, and just the people — everyone is chill. I would have to say if I took a handful of San Franciscians and put them in Farmville they would be called freaks, but here eh it’s normal — everyone is unique and different and no one cares we all hang out smoke, drink, and enjoy life. And also we get fucked up and we go to work pushing through the day sometimes with massive hangovers, but hey, we had a nice night.

Yeah about that…. I was partying when I went to a conference. And I woke up with this thirty-year-old chick.  Well I woke up and someone was next to me and I was like “oh hello?” in my head. And then I wasn’t at my hotel room, or my friend’s place and I was like hmmmm, got up and was like …. “yeah…. I gotta go…… I have a conference to go to” and I left. Whatever that’s life, and a good story.

TLH:  Did it ever get old, people recognizing you as Longwood Man? What were the circumstances of that picture that ended up on the school’s website?

Dan: Nah it didn’t get old.  It was fun.  I was a celeb; who doesn’t want to be a celeb?   I was living a mini-Entourage life. It was funny to sometimes. My English 400 teacher opened up the homepage to his Freshmen 150 class and he said that 75% of them were like I KNOW THAT GUY!… and the odd thing is I dunno how they know me, cause I’d get fucked up at the bar and not at Frat Parties senior year, unless I did go to frat parties and didn’t remember… which could be a possibility.

I’d say some circumstances of me bring on the site was people wanted me to do my GO LANCER power punch or they would do it with me, which was fun but kinda got boring. The only reason why I’m Longwood Man is because I was sitting with a friend by the [CHI] fountain and these people came up to me with a camera and said “so….. you gotta leave.” And I replied “what?! why? I like my fountain.” And they said well you can stay but you have to be in a commercial for Longwood, which you can see the whole footage on www.youniversity.tv — kinda lame but whatever, I got to be with my fountain. I like to call it a watering hole though, cause we all crowd ’round it like all the animals in the savannah do at their water holes.

TLH:  Do you have any Real World Advice to impart to freshman?

Dan: Ah, real world advise… D-Hall blows, and their politics suck, and those students working don’t know shit; they are trying to tell me how to do things in a kitchen when I had more experience than them, and now I’m a manager or two in San Francisco… I mean come on. Don’t let them be dicks to you or push you around.  Be the big dick, and don’t let the Aramark administration push you round either. You are the client… You are always right.

Other real word advise…. Do not fear mistakes cause there are none. And that life is the only real teacher. When you let go of all the preconceptions and useless knowledge and just live life as it is, you will do amazing things.

TLH:  Considering the extent to which you dart around the country, do you have any notion of where you’d like to be in ten years?

Dan: Well I was planning on taking a month off soon, to go to have a little spiritual journey in India, but they are having problems with swine flu, so… I don’t wanna get stuck in India, granted I love the country and culture but being stuck will be no fun when I’m trying to get back, so I think I’ll go to Italy, visit Venice before it sinks. And also I was gonna have a weekend in the great Farmville to visit some cool Longwoodians. But ten years…. dunno that’s kinda far; I more look in the now, but if I have to look and think about it…. Maybe I’ll have my own restaurant somewhere. I’d love to have a little one eventually in Farmville that super kick ass, but that’s maybe when I’m an old man and have nothing better to do.